I can't take it anymore...

Bad day, bad week...
I played it last year and I quit everything. I’m 50 and I’m starting my life over…
I thought solitude wouldn’t scare me, but I have to admit I was wrong!
I have a friend, a friend for whom I have genuine feelings. He is also divorced, has tasted freedom a bit too much, and no longer wants to settle down. The painful part is that I would be happy to start a new life with him…
His feelings? I wonder… He can be so tender, so considerate… and the next day, he forgets that he promised to call me… and I’m just sitting here waiting, like an idiot! I’ve realized that I’m expecting far more from him than he’s willing to give; I reason with myself, I get angry at myself, but if he shows up, that’s it—I’m burning with love for him!
I can't take it anymore here! I had to hide my cell phone so he wouldn't harass me with calls that he only answers when it suits him!
He says that I do too much for him, that he doesn’t ask for anything, and that it makes him feel like he’s taking advantage of me, which he doesn’t want!
Is he trying to put distance between us through his attitude?
He loves me, he told me…
Our story is a sweeping saga; we’ve known each other for 23 years, but we’ve been closer than ever in the past few months…
At the dawn of my new life, I burn with love for him…
I don't know what to think anymore…
He's asking for some time…
I have a lot of patience, but sometimes, on days like today, I snap!
You should know that he lives 35 kilometers from my place! So, the phone often rings between our two cell phones!
But I'm not waiting any longer…
He knows it…
Talking to you has been good for me; it has strengthened my patience… You will tell me to forget it, and I will answer that I have been waiting too long to give up…
It’s going to be tough again; I’ll still have my moments of weakness…
But I hope that one day, he will agree to share his life with me…

Thank you for reading me!
Good evening everyone… I’m heading back to my cell phone… just in case it rings!!!
And yes… that’s just how I am…!

Good evening Cinderella,

You’ve got a great sense of humor, a lively way with words, and a knack for irony—I really appreciate it!
You need to know that some people are only meant to remain friends, the most… being able to or giving them the feeling of losing their freedom and independence!
Some may also feel suffocated over time by all the love that is shown to them. I don't think he wants to distance himself from you, but rather that he is trying to make you understand that he does not want to fall back into the trap of a relationship where everything must be calculated, planned, or controlled.
Love has limits that, according to some, should not go beyond imprisonment or control, feelings that are meant to be marked by surprises and passion, not by the obligation to justify oneself!

Warm regards
The magician.

Good evening, Cinderella

You know, it’s never too late to start a new life; everything ends and everything begins again.

There is a proverb that says:

Follow me, I’ll run away from you
Run away from me, I am following you

Accept his decision today and let time take its course. I know it’s hard to wait and patience often fails us, but take what he gives you today and enjoy the present moment.
Perhaps one day you will no longer be waiting for him (I do not wish that upon you), and it will be him who is behind you, or else your patience will be rewarded.
Above all, don't forget it and don't let it go.

And if you have cockroach problems, come see us on the site.

Kisses to you, Cinderella

Véronique

Thank you both for replying so quickly…
My bout of melancholy from yesterday is continuing today… I need to keep my mind occupied, otherwise I’ll fall into a depression…
I slept with my phone, but it didn't ring!
Forgetting him is impossible; I think of him every minute of my life!

But I tried to put myself in his shoes, taking into account what Lemagicien told me.
It’s true that if he gave me as much proof of love as I give him, I would be happy, but I’ve realized that I risk smothering him… In that respect, we are different.
I need to be surrounded by people, I need attention…
I left my husband precisely because I had to do everything without ever receiving any recognition, never any tenderness, never any consideration... I fully intend to make up for it...
He, divorced for 15 years, after two unsuccessful attempts to start over, I also understand why he is distant; in fact, I think he is afraid to commit again…
When we meet, I receive more tenderness than I ever have… but you have to see it! We don’t live that far apart, but I’m on a tight budget and every mile counts…
But anyway...
I haven't lost hope; I still believe…
And besides, my new life is only just beginning…

Talking to you makes me feel good; I feel full of resolutions for the day... Your advice and your remarks are welcome, they help me a lot.
Hearing someone else’s opinion opens your mind and helps you react.

And also, it's a bit like I'm talking to myself, as if I'm encouraging myself...
So count on me, I'll be back!

Well, I guess I’d better get started…
I promise to leave him alone today… at least I’ll try… Maybe if I stay silent, he’ll worry and call me… I feel like giving it a try…

I'll tell you what!

Thank you for being here…
Have a good day, everyone…
Nicole

Good evening, everyone…

Good news, I took your comments into account... and he called! Thank you, thank you so much for opening my eyes!
The magician, you said: “Some may also come to feel stifled over time by all this love that is shown to them”…
Véronique, you said: “Follow me, I’ll run away from you”
Run away from me, I am following you…

Well, for two days I had to beat myself up to not call him, really, I assure you, it was tough…
But last night and just 10 minutes ago today, he called me… he missed me…
Yesss!
I think I get it, I need to be more distant…
I want to call her so badly that I’m smothering her!

So, here it is… I had promised you, and I confirm it: everything is fine, everything is better, and I am eagerly looking forward to the day I will see him again!

Thank you both, a thousand times… I was too passionate to realize that he needs to breathe.
…so that it serves me as a lesson!

See you soon
Best regards
Nicole

Hello Cinderella

I'm very happy that it worked out, but we shouldn't let our guard down; occasionally show that you're there, we need to find a middle ground.
And yes, when you show some distance, a person asks themselves a thousand questions and then gallops back to see what’s going on.
So you can see that he cares about you since he noticed your silence. Now the ball is in your court; you need to steer the ship well, tame him little by little, and you will see that your new life will be the one you chose.
I'm sending you midday kisses, Cinderella

Véronique

Hello Cinderella!

I just discovered this thread, so even if you’ve already found the answers you were looking for, I’d like to share my opinion as well.
50 years old, you say, and on the threshold of a new life. I’m 51 and starting a new relationship too, which means we’re made to understand each other.
We, as women, want to build a couple, and for us that means being together as often as possible, or calling each other very frequently, living each other's lives.
But as Lemagicien said, most men, and especially those of our age, need to breathe. They need their freedom and their independence.
For us, it’s sometimes hard to admit, but…
You managed to limit the tel, which is very good, but don't fall into the opposite extreme for that reason.
In my opinion, the ideal would be for you to take turns calling each other. But above all, avoid calling multiple times a day.
Another alternative is to communicate online via MSN. It’s not too bad; if the other person is online, you send a message and they reply if they want to. And if they don’t, the next time you wait for them to send the first message.
A man who was stifled in a previous relationship is afraid of being smothered again. On his own, he has found hobbies that we must primarily respect, as we may not necessarily be able to share them.
He also often has a lot of friends who take up a lot of his time. But these friends were there before us and they come before us, …at least for now.
Above all, we must not rush anything. Once they realize that they truly love us, they will come to us. We must let them take the initiative, even if we do everything we can to tip the scales in our favor.
Patience is our great ally.
Very friendly
Mamyo

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to tell you that I came to check in here and I read your post, and I came away feeling inspired. Good luck, Cinderella.
And thank you all for being here and for your support.
In my opinion, these posts help me and many others to reflect on our own lives.
Thank you again for being who you are.
&
Happy weekend, everyone

Kisses on the cheeks

Martine/Alias=Adufunsulchat :-*

Thank you, Véronique, for your midday kisses! They warm my heart! So do your advice!

Mamyol, your story sounds like mine… He has his habits, his social circle, his intrusive brother, and for over six years he has had nothing to do but take care of himself. That explains it…
Still, I don't want him to change; I just want him to give me some time from time to time! Yes, I admit it, I want more, but right now, at this very moment, he's not ready to give it to me!
So, let's encourage each other! Life is beautiful, let's not let it get us down!
Oh right, I forgot, he doesn't have the internet, so MSN is out of the question! Boo! It's just the phone or the car and those damn kilometers!

Ouellet, thank you for your encouragement!

So I'm spending another solo weekend! It's Saturday, and he's out with his brother! But I'm hoping that tomorrow…

Patience and perseverance… you know the rest!

Kisses to everyone
Kind regards
Nicole