So much suffering

Hello,

I reached out to Voyance AZ a few months ago because I was no longer quite sure where I stood. I had been in a relationship with a man who was not available for three years. I loved him deeply and sincerely, and he loved me too. However, the situation was starting to weigh on me; I wanted to break up several times for that reason, but he would come back every time. As a result, my heart would take over again. He couldn’t leave his girlfriend because of his son; he didn’t want to be rejected by him.

Four months ago, my friend took his own life by hanging himself. It was a shock for me. I am on heavy medication. I am asked to accept the unacceptable. I have returned to work, and my colleagues are very supportive of me, as are my family and friends. I am being seen by a psychologist.

This ordeal is too harsh for me, as I have just lost the man of my life, my soulmate. I have so much love for him. What happened on that Monday, April 17, 2006, the day of his death? For me, it remains a mystery. We had seen each other two days prior; he was fine, we joked around, and he said me loving words, as he always did when the weekend approached, since we were then separated for two days.

For me, life ended that day. I am just surviving and going through the motions like an automaton. I wish to join him, but I have my mother to care for, and she would let herself die if I were to disappear.

I am between two worlds.

How can one manage to live again after such a tragedy?

You must understand that a suicide is a personal matter and has nothing to do with others. You need to grieve, otherwise there is no point in continuing to live. Moreover, you have responsibilities toward your mother. You must stop complaining and take charge, because the only thing that falls from the sky is the sea... It is hard, but no one ever said that recovering from someone's death was easy.

I had prepared a message for dear Mimi, but it disappeared.

I just wanted to offer you my sincere condolences…

And above all, don't feel guilty!

I lost my father in April… and a friend made me realize that he didn’t want my love for lack of courage to commit… so it’s like two bereavements.

Cry when you feel the need to, and as much as you need to… and time will help you.

Ask the homeopathic pharmacy for Ignatia and some calming remedies, or even Rescue (Dr. Bach’s flower remedy); I think it will already help you with your shock states…

and gradually regains a taste for life… and talk to her as much as you feel the need to…

and accept his departure with the strength of the love you feel for him… and he wouldn’t want you to give in… it’s terrible and sad, but that’s just how it is.

Hold on to your closest friends, your friends… see them.

Good luck, ClaudiaC

Thank you, Claudiac,

While you were alive, you had already given me good advice (check out my posts from January 2006 in Mains Tendues). Sometimes I tell myself that I’m not cut out to be happy.

His disappearance is unbearable to me. Right now more than ever. But as you say, that's life.

I strongly believe in the survival of the soul after death, and I know that my friend lives on another plane. I have read many books on the subject.

But many people are quite resistant to this idea, and I can’t talk about it around me without being taken for a fool. But I’m convinced.

Thank you, Claudiac.

Yes, I know, dear Mimi, I remember our exchanges.

I think he didn't want to hurt anyone... not you, not her.

I would help you again and always, if you want.

Yes, there is life after death, so talk to them as much as you want, tell them everything. Especially in the early days, I am convinced they are still around us…

Tell him everything you feel, everything you experience…

and you don't come across as a luddite, we are on this site because we believe in the invisible world (more or less strongly). I believe in it because of my recurring dreams before my father's death. Someone or something wanted to give me signs.

I think he didn't want to hurt anyone while he was alive and preferred to leave quietly… it’s hard, but sometimes it’s the only way out when the choices become too significant to make or take… this can be in any field.

For the background: in Switzerland, we have the highest suicide rate in Europe. That’s just how it is. Life is getting harder and harder, and everyone is increasingly withdrawing into themselves. Competition is fierce, and more and more young people, in particular, are left to fend for themselves.

Unfortunately...

I’m sending you all my courage… and look at the sun and go, if you can, somewhere warm and to the sea… I always need warmth and sunshine, I could let myself get sunburned under it just to feel alive this year

:-*, ClaudiaC

Thank you, claudiac,

Yes, the choice was hard for him, but there is always a solution to everything. I know that deep down, he was unhappy. I talk to him all the time and pray for him so that his soul can find peace.

Have you ever tried to contact a deceased person? I went to see a priest who has a high degree of mediumship. This priest had contact with my friend. According to him, my friend Léon passed away in a fit of anger and is still there.

Before, I was not interested in the world of the invisible, but I have read so many books since his death that I am convinced there is life in the afterlife.

I read the book The Mediums, Karine, Life After Life, telling them that death does not exist, etc. It is astonishing and truly wonderful to think that death is a passage to another life.

That is what keeps me going. Thinking that when my time comes, I will join him. But in the meantime, I have to live without his physical presence, and it is so hard sometimes.

I am sorry about your father. Léon also died in April.

As you say, people no longer know what to hold on to and they find the solution only in suicide. It's sad. All the more so because suicide causes so much harm to those who are left behind. Léon's son, who is twenty years old, is in a very bad state.

Thank you for listening to me. I kiss you.

Thank you, Mimi, in these difficult times in life we must stick together, as they say.
My father passed away at the end of April, on the very day of my son’s birthday.
I never said it, but he left by “accident.” That’s all I want to say… but since he was alone, there was an autopsy. Even more pain: that long wait to find out the cause of death!
I also knew that deep down, he was unhappy too; I felt it and understood it through the remarks he made. And I felt so helpless next to him, and sad… I would have loved so much to help him, but neither I nor his grandson managed to. No, he did not commit suicide, I’m convinced of that… but he had a fatal accident…

Oh yes, pray for him as much as you can so that his soul may rest in peace.

I have a friend who had an NDE (near-death experience) and she saw that famous white light and said that apparently the other side is completely different from this earthly world... Do we come here to "improve" our soul with the karma that we always carry with us from one life to the next?

See you soon, ClaudiaC

Hello Mimi, hi Claudiac,

Yes, there is life after death, so talk to them as much as you want, tell them everything. Especially in the early days, I’m convinced they’re still around us…

Tell her everything you feel, everything you experience…

I am convinced of it too:
My father left us three years ago. At first, I sometimes felt his presence near me; I would talk to him and ask for his advice. But for over a year now, there has been nothing. I concluded that he had finally found his path and was now at peace. That if he watches over me now, it is from very far away, and that the transition is over. That I must now take care of myself like an adult.
I think that, during that period, before he found peace, he had somewhat indicated to me a crossroads at the end of my road, but that now I must choose the direction to take on my own.
Also, now, I no longer try to keep him by my side; I only pray for the peace of his soul in the afterlife.

Mimi, I sympathize with you a lot, especially since for two years I have been in a relationship with a man who is not free and who, for different reasons, cannot free himself. Several times we too broke up for rational reasons, but our hearts always prevailed.
I know what I suffered when it was only a matter of no longer seeing each other, of each of us going our separate ways, so I understand your suffering.
He’s been really depressed lately because of all his problems (elsewhere), and I absolutely don’t want the worst to happen. I’m doing my best to support and encourage him emotionally, that’s all. But I truly don’t know who I’d become if he left for good.

Courage, I know it's very difficult.
Best regards

I am convinced of it too:
My father left us three years ago. At first, I sometimes felt his presence near me; I would talk to him and ask for his advice. But then, for over a year now, nothing. I concluded that he had finally found his path, his way, and that he is now at peace. That if he watches over me now, it is from very far away, but that the transition is over. That I must now take care of myself alone, like an adult.
I think that, during that period, before he found peace, he had somewhat indicated to me a crossroads at the end of my road, but that now I must choose the direction to follow on my own.
Also, now, I no longer try to keep him by my side; I only pray for the peace of his soul in the afterlife.

Hello Mamyol,
You're reading my thoughts…
These days – since I’m home alone – I talk to my father – just like you – and I ask him what you asked yours. Just a little guidance, a path to follow…
So that I can then take this direction rather than another, and then show him that I am a big girl…
But for now, I still need to talk to him, to ask him for help… before he goes away forever…
Sniff... but there you go.
:-*, ClaudiaC

You're reading my thoughts…
These days – since I’m home alone – I talk to my father – just like you – and I ask him what you asked yours. Just a little guidance, a path to follow…
So that I can then choose this direction rather than another, and then show him that I am a big girl…
But for now, I still need to talk to him, to ask him for help… before he goes away forever…
Sniff... but there you go.

Hi Claudiac!
Sniff, but there you have it You know, the answers are not as straightforward as we expect. It is not an exact direction but a crossroads that we have ahead of us, and they do not tell us which road to take. It is up to us to make the choice. They only guide us to show that several possibilities are open to us, but that the final decision is ours. They merely encourage us to move forward, that we must continue on our path, walk toward our destiny while knowing how to choose what is best for us.
And strangely, now that we’re talking about it, it makes me realize that even though I’m still searching for my path, even though not everything is won yet, and even though I still have a long way to go to fulfill myself, it was only after my father’s passing that I truly started to live, and that life gave me (even if they were always too short) wonderful moments of happiness.
I know somewhere that I no longer have to keep walking, or even fight to get it, but that true happiness exists at the end of the road. It is a conviction I have deep down inside me.
Very friendly

Hello Mamyol,

How can we know what is better than us? And how can we know that we have not made any mistakes?

Yes, I would be delighted if he guided me just a little, but I don't know if that's the case.

:-*, ClaudiaC

Good evening Mimi12313,

I would like to offer you my sincere condolences and wish you much courage to continue in life without your friend.
But, however, you must continue on your own, for yourself and for your mother.

Dear Mimi, we do not die with the dead, and we each have our own life, destiny, and fate. He was unhappy and had a difficult choice to make, and his only solution was to quietly fade away, as our friend Claudiac said.

All that's left is to talk to him, but not for long. Let him go, don't hold him back. He has his transition to go through. Pray for him and his soul, may he be at peace.

Mimi, you're asking yourself why and how he took his own life, so please don't do the same by trying to erase yourself, and don't let your mom, your loved ones, and your friends be left with the same questions you're facing right now. You see, it's hard and very painful for those who are left behind.

For now, you are in pain, and I understand that, and it’s normal. I’m not saying you’ll forget it easily, but you still have life in you, and life must take its normal course. One day you’ll see, you’ll forget, and you’ll have thoughts… and you’ll look back on your past with bitterness.

As for Léon's son, try to keep in touch and help each other if it is within the limits of what is possible.

Best regards
Ladysally

Dear Ladysally,

I know that we cannot die with the people who pass away. However, I must admit that with a grief and a bitter failure... it takes a great deal of motivation and strength to keep fighting.

A large part of me has died as well (the first part of my life). And I must learn to live with the part that is alive and nurture it little by little.

And above all, to nurture this will to live that comes and goes in spurts.

The holidays did me good… and I noticed that I mainly need sun and warmth…

I understand that Mimi is suffering… and the lack of understanding doesn’t help either.

I wish you a lot of courage, Mimi.

ClaudiaC

Hello dear friend,

I was saying not to die with the dead in the true sense; we have a heart that beats, ears to hear, blood that circulates, and as long as all these things are alive, well, we are alive too. I wasn't going to say, "Go on, Mimi, you're grieving and you must not live, do as he did," or is it better to say, "Live as long as there is life"?

Some people handle their grief very well, while others don't handle it as well, and that was my attempt to offer a note of courage and a bit of philosophy. Believe me, I understand the situation very well and I also have empathy for my fellow humans (I am not a monster).

Dear Claudiac, you say that a large part of me is dead and that I must learn to live with the part that is still alive, to nurture it little by little, and above all to nurture this will to live... The holidays did you good, and I hope my words will do Mimi some good.

There are people who wallow in self-pity and others who rise to life’s challenges with a defiant shrug and a kick, and that was my attempt.

I wish you a lot of courage, Mimi, as well as you, Claudiac.

Best regards
Ladysally

Thank you, dear Ladysally.
I still need a vacation I will leave again tomorrow.
With the return from vacation, problems and worries have resurfaced. And they have not diminished; quite the opposite.
Best regards, ClaudiaC