Hello Dalida,
First of all, it’s a pleasure to meet you, and welcome to the section where I hope you’ll find all the comfort you need.
The first thing I think it’s important to let you know is that rebuilding your life after one or more romantic disappointments, whether you’re a man or a woman, is not easy.
We are still sensitive to the failures experienced with another partner and therefore have difficulty trusting again, instinctively dissecting and analyzing every act and every reaction of our new partner. This takes away all the magic of this new love.
You have fears and reservations about this man who apparently displays an awkward attitude at the moment, and this is with regard to your son.
You will need to be careful in this new relationship, because if his selfishness is already present even though you haven't really built a life together yet, it may be a precursor to other character traits that could hinder your relationship. So caution is warranted for now.
Given a number of factors you mention regarding your financial difficulties due to unemployment and the support your family can provide, you can take advantage of this waiting period by accepting this family support and seeing this man. This will allow you to get to know this gentleman better, learn more about him, and see if you can ultimately take your relationship further. This will not diminish the feelings you have for each other, but it will preserve your child's well-being. Because if he is reserved around your child, it becomes problematic. Remember to keep your distance in all situations.
Now let's try to be fair to this man; he too may have fears and uncertainties stemming from his past and his experiences. A man in his forties who is starting over also has questions and is looking for the best direction for his well-being, but unlike women, he will not admit it out of modesty, because men have less facility than women in expressing their desires and worries. So talk to him, try to understand and grasp his true motivations for the future. If what emerges does not suit you, you will at least have the freedom to act accordingly; if on the contrary you realize that your relationship can be based on trust and sincere exchanges, you can consider building a life together.
Try to look at every situation in your current life positively. Your situation is difficult but not insurmountable.
Never forget that you are the one who has your life in your hands, not others. Do not condition your choices based on others, but for yourself, and above all, by thinking first and foremost of your child.
If any uncertainties remain, do not hesitate to let me know; I will do everything in my power to help you.
Be brave and try to smile at life despite the difficulties.
Good luck and see you soon
