My worries since my father's passing 2

Here is a question: I’m probably going to the sea this year, and I don’t feel the same way as I did last year since my dad passed away. Yet he would have been 1 year old this year too. I’m going to wear my colorful skirt, and it tells me nothing. It’s as if I’m stuck somehow. It’s fucking annoying. How do I get rid of it, or does it go away little by little?