I need help

Hello,

Let me explain my problem:

Me and my fiancé, things were going very well at first; we got along well and our love was so passionate and enmeshed... But then everything fell apart. He cheated on me with a coworker while I was pregnant with our daughter, and when I found out he was cheating, I wanted to leave him, but he told me he loved me, that he would stop his nonsense, and that if I left him, he would kill himself. I believed he was sincere, and I, who love, know that I am willing to do anything for him. I forgave him and gave him a chance, and I also didn't want it to end because we were going to have a child and I loved him. After our baby was born, I learned that he was still cheating on me, and when I asked him, he told me the opposite ("I'm not cheating on you anymore, I love you..."). So after that, I closed my eyes to what people were telling me about him cheating on me, because I loved him so much and I told myself that I couldn't live without him, especially since we had a child and all that... But one day, I listened to the voicemail on his cell phone, and I came across a love message that his coworker had left him, and I collapsed. That's when I told myself, I have to put an end to this. I told him it was over in February 2005. When it ended between him and me, I was in so much pain; I missed him terribly, I couldn't stop thinking about him, I felt empty... So after our separation, he kept telling me that he still loved me and that he wanted us to get back together for us and for our daughter. At first, I didn't want to get back with him and I didn't think I would get back with him; in July, we got back together and at first things were going very well, but I couldn't trust him yet, I doubted him. I was right, because three years later we separated again because he was still up to his tricks.

And now I don't know what to do anymore because I love him so much, I miss him, and I'm pregnant, I'm going to have my second child with him. I'm suffering from this situation, but on his side, he doesn't care about his child because he continues his quiet little life with this woman, and from what I can see, he has moved on. It's her that he loves, not me… I feel so alone, I'm depressed. and lost.

Good evening Steph,

You tell me that you love her enormously, but I notice that it’s not mutual; it takes two to love!
Imagine all the joy you will have with your two children, focus on them in a positive way, and turn the page on him as well.
In life, you have to make choices, and apparently, he made his…
Stay optimistic and don't give up, love will come to you from your children; they will give you all the joy and affection you deserve!

Kisses
The magician.

Good evening Steph,

I am sorry for you that you are in a situation of failure.

I am very sorry to have to tell you this, but I think you must have sensed it: this man does not love you. It makes me very uncomfortable, but we need to talk about it.

Given that you are the mother of his children, he should, in my opinion, show more respect toward you.

You must be suffering from this situation, and you will continue to suffer if he does not behave honestly and does not uphold the moral values necessary for a happy life together, with your children, of course.

I wouldn't want to give you advice that doesn't align with your hopes, but it seems reasonable to consider steering your life in a different direction.

I understand that you may love him and tell yourself he will change and things will get better. Given his bad habit of cheating, I fear that he won’t stop and that your life will be nothing but breakups and reconciliations. Your children will suffer as well. I am a mother myself, and the only advice I can give you is: protect your children. They must not be victims of adult selfishness. It is important to think of them first and take good care of them, starting with protecting yourself from this man. Take your children under your wing, love them, and protect them.

One day, what I wish for you is that you may meet someone who will respect you, who will love you, and who will especially love your very important children.

I hope to hear from you soon. I wish you lots of courage with your pregnancy, and don’t hesitate to reach out to me on the forum if you’re feeling down.

Hello Steph,

Your story broke my heart. I agree with Lemagicien and JOSY; this man does not know how to love and does not respect you.
Apparently, he tried to use the love you have for him, because I think he’s a weak person, and many women wouldn’t tolerate it. It’s easy for him since he knows you’ll always “take him back.” He plays the victim by saying he loves you, that he’s going to commit suicide, etc.
But you have the right (for yourself) and the duty (for your children) to find a balance and be happy! I think you have given and waited enough.
As Lemagicien said, he made his choice. Make your own choice to carve out a new path. I am sure that one day you will meet someone worthy of the love you have to give.
Are you working, Steph?

Tell yourself that it is better to suffer a certain amount of loneliness than to suffer from living with someone who constantly cheats on you, lies to you, and cannot behave themselves. I hope you will have the strength to say “NO” and take charge of your life.

In any case, like JOSY, I am here to support you morally during this period. Life is so beautiful, and your children will be there to give you the love you deserve. Live for yourself.

Don't hesitate to send some news, dear Steph,

I'm thinking of you,

Friendship,
Natou

Thank you Natou, Josy77, Lemagicien, for your messages, it really made me happy.

Yes, of course, I'm trying to turn the page on our relationship and see my life without him. It's certainly not as easy as that, but I hope I'll manage.

Plus, je commence à ne plus trop croire à l'amour éternel et à la fidélité.

Thank you very much :-*

Hello Steph,

Plus, je commence à ne plus trop croire à l'amour éternel et à la fidélité.

I feel a lot of bitterness and suffering in this sentence. For now, you are in the midst of emotional turmoil, and it is natural, so to speak, that you think this way.

No matter what, stay positive; think positively to attract happiness to you. There is a love that will never change: it is the love your children give and will give you, and the love you have for them. This love will be eternal and faithful.

As for the love you might find with another person, which I wish for you with all my heart, you will need to be careful in your choices. To do so, you will need to observe how he behaves toward your children. For now, you will need to heal the wounds caused by this romantic setback and rebuild yourself, for yourself and for your children, so that you can be strong for them. You are not alone, and I will help you and be there so that you can rebuild. In due time, you will feel better and will be able to look to the future with serenity. So, Steph, believe in love, believe in it strongly, and hold on. Like most people, I have also had disappointments and thought that life was hard to live, but deep down, despite the suffering, I keep a spark of hope and hold on very tightly to positive thoughts. I have this strength thanks to the love my son brings me every day, and I believe in him; it helps me considerably.

Don't hesitate to contact me whenever you like; the hand I'm extending to you through this outstretched hand will not let you go, be certain of that.

Kisses

Hello Steph,

Here is a very simple sentence that might encompass your entire story?
Love is built step by step; trusting in another’s fidelity is like walking on hot coals…
We can only have the happiness we are able to understand, and yet we must always continue to believe in love!
Love is not just a physical affair between two beings; it also encompasses friendship, tolerance, self-giving, and so on.

Best regards
The magician.

Hello Steph,

I just read the posts and I know what you're feeling for having experienced it; all of a sudden, everything collapses and life loses its meaning. But there is only one thing that saves us: our children. Their love is sincere, faithful, and will never betray us. It is for them that you must fight; you must show them the way for their future.
Then one day, when we no longer expect it, Love comes knocking at our door; we are wary, we are cautious, but a great desire to share is there.
Never give up; happiness is given to everyone, you just have to believe in it and wait.
Don't hesitate here; many people on the site are here to support you.

friendship

sebsylam

I turned the page; as far as I can see, it’s just the way he likes it, not the way I do… I feel so alone, I’m depressed and lost…

Yes, of course you feel lonely and depressed; you’ve just truly realized that this man has abandoned you… even with children… he’s cheating on you, but who’s cheating on whom, etc.… who’s cheating in this kind of relationship…

A hard slap in the face and you've fallen... you know, falling is human, but getting back up is divine.

I wish you could rediscover that same inner flame, but for yourself this time. I know it’s not easy, and all of this seems cruel and inhumane, but you see… love at this price… what a torment… How old were you when you were first abandoned in this way… emotionally? This period of your life demonstrates and has been placed here so that you can become aware of certain unresolved events in your life… To love, but at what price? To love to the point of forgetting yourself entirely… I don’t know, my beautiful one… this is something to take into consideration… Often, when one attracts such a situation, there is something unclear at the start of the relationship… or in our family of origin (family patterns), etc… The only difference is that you You have the power to stop this pattern.even if sometimes we have to suffer so that it never happens again..

It is true that in the moment it is painful to accept and that you have to grieve emotionally... later on, with the benefit of hindsight, you will realize that you perhaps lacked self-confidence and that your self-esteem was on a scale of 2 out of 10 to have accepted such a situation... etc... with hindsight you will understand many things and see more clearly, because when you have both feet in a problem, it is difficult to see clearly and to take emotional distance.

Step back a little and look at this experience... Did you know from the start that he was an unfaithful man and that deep down you were hoping to change him... e.g., I will love him so much that he will change? I will love him so much that he will come back and forget the other woman, etc...

Courage,

Rolande