Sentimental

Hello Marylena,

I am a woman, born on October 13, 1970.
I have been single for four years. I met a man, born on January 19, 1971, on a social networking site. Right from the start, I made it clear that I did not want any problems, since he is in a relationship. Unfortunately, little by little, we hit it off incredibly well. He made it clear that I was not indifferent to him and that he himself was surprised to see my picture appearing like that, even at work. We moved on to phone calls and text messages. There have been many intense moments between us, and we need to talk on the phone every day.
He told me about the abuse he had suffered during his childhood, and that for the past few years, he had been resentful toward his partner, that something had been broken between them ever since she had cheated on him…
We were supposed to meet, but her partner is pathologically jealous; she checks everything! Texts, calls on her phone, and also private messages, contact names, etc.… the same on the internet.
She noticed the change in my behavior a few weeks ago. Even though my phone numbers were registered under a different name, she checked whether my numbers matched the names, and unfortunately, they didn’t… On Friday, she told her two children, aged 11 and 14, that she had been unfaithful to their father and that he had a virtual lover. The older one doesn’t blame his mother, but he’s very angry with his father. As a result, she decided to go out for some fresh air with her 14-year-old son, while I was being harassed by text messages from his partner and his other son, who were stuck at home with the younger child. So, he prefers to stay for the sake of his children and continue enduring his wife’s jealousy. His life consists of going to work and going straight home; he’s not allowed to go out without his wife… Last night, he told me he wanted us to remain friends, if I was okay with that, and that he missed me a lot too. How can a mother force adult stories on children?! I’m trying to open Mr. [Last Name]’s eyes, but he’s afraid of causing his children pain and of them enduring the same nightmare he did as a child.
My question is the following: Is there a future between him and me?
I'm sorry for telling you all of this, but I need to talk about it. For once, I've met someone so pleasant and understanding. I'm not exactly free, but somewhere deep down, I tell myself it's fate that made us cross paths... alas, fate continues to be relentless with me.
I don't know what to do, and I know that he is unhappy on his end, because he doesn't like causing suffering. Please help me. Sincerely.

Hello Black Angel

Thank you for your trust and for sharing your story; it is indeed complex, despite the fact that this man has
So much love for you, he prefers to sacrifice himself for his children,
You will remain friends, that’s for sure. As for his wife, who seems very hypocritical to me, and who is also very jealous.
Excessive won't get far; she will be caught in her own trap. When everything is broken in a couple's life, you can hardly put the pieces back together.
It will take a long time for this man to understand that his life is no longer with his wife. In the meantime, you should enjoy life and live in the present moment. I know it’s hard when you love someone, but you can’t wait for him your whole life and miss out on something even more wonderful.
If this man truly loved you, he would do everything to be by your side; life sometimes demands
sacrifices that some cannot make
I wish you good luck,
You will see him again, but only as a friend.

Marylena

Hello Marylena,

Thank you.
Yes, it’s very complex and very stressful ever since she found out that he has feelings for me.
For now, I don't know if we will remain friends, because we had a fight last night, and I didn't like what he did... I prefer to keep my distance to forget about it; it will be hard for me to stay friends with him, so be it if he suffers, but he needs a shock to snap out of it.
I know that he is keeping his distance from me, and it is even hurtful that he is trying to avoid me, because I know that feelings are taking over.
Today, I don’t feel well at all!! Even though this is the first time in my life that I’ve met a man who understands me so well, we have a lot in common, and the chemistry between us was instant, until his partner came along and ruined everything! It’s her right, but why keep living in a situation like this, automatically causing discomfort within the couple? The children feel it! And the youngest is making life hell for his parents, the worst of it being toward his mother.
I just have to try to hold back!! But the problem is that every time, one of the two of them comes back at me, and this time I absolutely have to resist!! Right now, and as usual, he leaves his software open so that we can stay in contact.
We have never met in person; otherwise, everything happens over the internet, via text messages, or by phone. After four years of being single, I believe I really need to stay single; I am still as disappointed by the behavior and cowardice of men. Even though I told him I would wait as long as necessary, things have been delicate since the argument last night. And yet, this is the first time I have felt that he is the man of my life, except that he is not free, and that he prefers to endure his partner’s relentless hostility toward the children.
What do you mean when you say she won't go far, etc.?
Thank you again, Marylena. I feel empty, sad, and unwell today; it will take me a long time to recover…

Good evening,

I understand your despair, but if this man truly loved you, he would come to you,
It’s hard to admit, but they always say that time is the cure for all ills, that one door closes and another opens, so enjoy life.

Marylena